Girls Will be Girls, Unfortunately

" Cliques are to girls as bullies are to boys"

Ellen Goodwill wrote a column in 2002 about "mean girls" in today's society.  A lot of what Goodwill talked about was true and valid.  At times she almost went overboard with her examples ( ie. the Columbine Massacre example) but I can understand the harsh example and tone.  In today's time young girls and grown women can be very mean...to simply put it.  Women want to surround themselves with other women that look like them, act like them, and want to do what they want to do, and for some, especially teenage ladies, those women that don't "fit in" with the group or clique are not welcomed and often times become the target for ridicule and separation.  Some girls can handle being outcasted but others can not and this sometimes is the cause of teen depression and suicide. I believe that without guidance young girl put to much emphases on irrelevant issues and these issues will cause them to take part in things that would be detrimental to another girl and to themselves. And with things like camera phones, Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, etc things can be recorded and later shared with millions of peoples and a lot of times this is the method these girls are using to exploit other teenage girls and make them embarrassed and shunned by other students and people. So the important thing to do her is understand that kids are cruel and its important to stay on top of our young ladies to insure as much as possible that understand the importance of being an individual and following a crowd. And just teaching them that being a "nice girl"  is way better and beneficial then being a mean one.

Indirectness is Not Insecurity

In her article Deborah Tannen writes on the effects of gender on communication. Tannen suggest that women use indirect orders to get there employees to follow direction and get things done men tend to be straight forward and direct.  She centered this communications difference in the modern day work place.  she showed how a woman approach could be just as effective as the mans.

I dont agree with Tannen, I believe that we have to adapt an communication tactic that works best for the individuals who I am managing. If they do better with a sternness and more direct means of communication, then that tactic should be used. But if I have people working for me that need more of a sensitive indirect way of being communicated with then I would use that, but only to a certain extent.  I believe that as a woman we are looked at a sensitive creatures and sometimes this gets in the way of managing certain types of people.  When men are being managed by women they might tend to dismiss a sensitive woman as a boss and not take her seriously.  so maybe using a more universal method of communication in the workplace would workout best. Strong, but not overbearing seems to be good.

A Deadly Education

In a writing titled "A Deadly Education" by T. Maxwell, he wrote about the harmful effects of second hand smoke and how being a student at Clayton State University, how it was hard to avoid this second hand smoke when walking around campus.

I truly understand the concerns of the non-smokers, but people pay to go to school here, this is a public University so I do not believe that someone should be told that they can not smoke on campus. I am a student here and I see people everyday smoking and I have just learned to walk around it. I have not seen that many people smoking where it is a cause for alarm or a problem for me to just avoid. It is the same thing these non smokers would have to do outside of public building and other places, so I guess I I just don't understand the big deal?

Should This Student Be Expelled?

In an article written by Nat Hentoff for the Village Voice,  Hentoff discusses the case of Doug Hann,  a varsity football player for the prestigious Brown University.  In 1990 Hann was involved in a situation where he went on a drunken rant, on his 21st birthday,  were many racial slurs were used. This rant had taken place on campus, and witness by many other students.  At first the slurs were not targeting one specific individual, but when another student asked Hann to calm down and lower his voice, Hann began to use racial and sexual slurs at specific people. Later when some students had had enough, they began to follow Hann and his friends and Hann's began to make demeaning comments to the students of other races, even trying to fight a few of them. It was later found out that this was not Hann's first time getting drunk and spitting out racial slurs. He was ordered two years prior to the birthday night incident to take race relations workshop for calling  man a "nigger" in a bar. 

Months later Hann was expelled, with no chance of re-admittance,  from Brown University for the birthday night rant. Hann was expelled under the "Hate Speech Code" that had been adapted by other schools arcoss the nation. Some agreed with the code and others did not. It was clear that Hentoff was one that did not agree that code. Personally it caused me to do some serious deep thinking.

Racial slurs are wrong and as a society we know that, but I think almost everyone is guilty of using them at times, but not in a public setting. Most people aren't racist but just calling someone stupid or ugly or even when a women is called a bitch or a whore: people use words that they know will hurt the person or persons they are aimed after.  Its doenst mean thatthey person using the terms has a real serious biased against the race, sexualaitly or gender of the person, but what Hann did showed, in my opinion, thay he was rascist.  He didnt mind using such terms in a public setting and was even educated enough to know what the Israli flag looked like to evenn make anti-semtic slur at that person.  Alcohol played a little role in his behavior to me, and becuase this situation took place on campus, I blieve the school did exactly what was appropiate. He had already had one cance two years ago to fix his issues, but he choose not to. That is his fault.

Now I believe in Free Speech, but what he did was not that. This was not a clan rally an individual speech to a crowd of followers. This was a racist grown man allowing alcohol to show his true self.  Colleges at the end of the day are to have a since of unity, and speaking hate on campus has no place there. If this was take place off campus grounds I would not agree to have Hann expelled, but since it was the school acted correctly.

In Praise of the "F" Word

In this article  Mary Sherry  writes from her experience as a mother and teacher on a very touchy subject, Social Promotion. For many years students who should not have, passed because of the social stigma associated with being kept back.President George W. Bush even pushed the No child Left Behind incentive. 

The goal of having every child succeed is a great goal, and every parent strives to have a child who is successful in every thing they do. However the mere fact of passing children who do not possess the skills to be successful in the next grade level is present in today's society  and is not benefiting our children but hindering them from ever being successful.Plainly put children who can not read only grow to be adults who can not read. Sherry's article says it all that flunking as a punishment for lack of motivation is necessary to teach a lesson.

Why We Crave Horror Movies

 In Stephen King's essay,  "Why We Crave Horror Movies"  he tells us that horror movies appeal to the insanity and the potential for violence in all of us- and that could be a good thing. He starts the essay with reason why people go to horror movies. He says we are all insane, we like to push the envelope to prove we are not afraid, or to have fun. However his reason become more complex as you read on. He asks why people like to see others suffer, and that the answer has to do with the dangerous effects of not finding an outlet for negative emotions, negative emotions we all possess. He wrote this essay to bring awareness of the shared insanity of people, a insanity we all try to hide. The insanity the younger generation embrace but shy away from with age. However King suggest that watching such movies helps us live the fantasies we can not really live without being put away. 

You Have Been "Prepared"

     Civilization produces many customs and rituals which could be construed by others to be quite uncivilized. Embalming, in my opinion, is one of those practices.  In fact there are some that would argue that the process of embalming is more barbaric today than in times past. Jessica Mitford penned a fabulous essay describing the brutality of what goes on behind closed doors at the mortuary. “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain” was written solely for the purpose of shedding some bright light on the planned horror that takes place after death.

     In a brilliant collection of prose, Mitford describes the tools, chemicals, and tricks of the trade used by what she describes as inaptly trained “pseudo-surgeons.”  The way that she depicts the procedure actually inspires fear. Not fear of the thought of death, we all feel that, but fear of the thought of what they do thereafter. She takes care to humanize the corpse that is being prepared by referring to him as Mr. Jones. It seems as if Mitford has done a great job of balancing critical thought processes with accurate and effective emotional cues-both of which are used cleverly to engage and influence the reader. Expressing the humanity and science of death is not something one does without much thought and intestinal fortitude.

     Reading “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain” has forever affected the way that I feel about attending funerals, even my own end of life plans. It makes me wonder if the living are just being selfish by holding on to something or someone who is no longer there. When I go, just throw me in a box and sing me a song! (And no sad songs, please!)